


Honesty

by llbffs69lol



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Age Play, Relationship Negotiation, Semi Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23830261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llbffs69lol/pseuds/llbffs69lol
Summary: A refocusing of the season 2 premier. When Jane’s façade begins to crack, Maura is there to help her find her footing.A riff on Baby O Mine by baybeepinkrose.Please read tags :)
Relationships: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Comments: 32
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baybeepinkrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baybeepinkrose/gifts).



> A bit of before and after the fic by baybeepinkrose, Baby O Mine. It’s such a sweet fic, and I would definitely recommend giving it a read. The before and after are marked.

(Before)

“I’m worried about her. We should do something.”

Maura choked on her coffee, her hand flew to cover her mouth, stifling a grimace. “I think she just needs time to process,” she trailed off with a nod, wiping the coffee from her nose and willing Angela to take the hint.

“Gee, I dunno, Maura, she always does this. Something happens and she just pushes me away... The harder the fall the more she pushes. One of these days, I swear that girl’s gonna implode in on herself.”

“I think Jane’s performative self is denying her a much needed experience of catharsis. It’s so deeply ingrained in her that her perceived persona won’t allow for it, even privately.” Maura watched the cafe window as a danaus plexippus inched across the admiral blue sealant. 

Angela nodded, “Catharsis?”

“Yes,” she smiled, “the purgation of built up emotions as a means of release in order to prevent them from interfering in daily life and functioning.“ 

Maura felt her heart beat a little faster, "or societal upkeep, if you’re Aristotle.” 

“I’m not.”

“You know, Aristotle’s first fourteen poetics outline the means of tragic performance and its necessity in maintaining an upright and civil society. Although now usually seen as a stylistic choice or research endeavor, his outline of tragedy is still widely used to this day,” she beamed.

“Un-huh.”

“The real tragedy is that although the poetics allude to further discussions of comedy, it is never addressed in the surviving poetics, leaving them incomplete.”

Angela met Maura’s eyes, feigning patience as the doctor continued, “while the western world often sites the poetics as the oldest surviving work of dramatic theory, it is important to note that the Nāṭya Śāstra was also developed around the same time in the area of present-day India. The original text is thought to have been altered-“

Maura’s brow furrowed at Angela’s unrelenting gaze, “...right.” She swiftly glanced down and cleared her throat, “You were saying?”

“She kicked me out of her apartment. Her own mother! Banished!” 

Maura nodded dutifully, “I can imagine it must difficult-“

“My daughter is difficult. She’s glued to her couch, and has bought every as-seen-on-tv item since 2008!”

“That does sound a bit excessive.” 

“Dr.Isles, I need you to be my man on the inside.”

“What?”

“Stop by,” Angela looked down her nose at Maura and lowered her voice, “see what’s goin’ on over there.” 

Maura thought to protest, but she thought better of it under Angela’s scrutinizing gaze. 

“I am driving her to the ceremony tomorrow.. I suppose I can drop by a bit early to make sure everything’s alright. Friend to friend.”

Angela smiled at her lovingly. Maura shrank slightly under her gaze, eyes flitting to the caterpillar that had dropped from the window seal onto the floor. Returning the other woman’s light pressure on her forearm, she contracted her zygomaticus major, crinkled her eyes, and bowed her head as she began towards the cafe exit.

She dipped by the window and scooped up the little creature “Hello, your majesty,” she said to the caterpillar cupped in her hands.

She cooed at the bug as she stepped out of the building to release the poor critter outside. Maura didn’t mind the confused glances thrown her way as she stooped in front of the window on the edge of the sidewalk.

“Bye,” she whispered as the bug inched away into the bushes.

Dr. Isles stood from her place hunched on the sidewalk, brushed her hands off. She let herself take a moment to close her eyes and drink in the sun’s warmth before heading back to her office.

** After **

Maura kept her arm linked around Jane’s and tightened her grip on the detective’s bicep as she tugged her companion towards her Toyota.

“Geez, Maura, I’m not goin’ anywhere!” Jane’s husky voice pierced her ears as she pried open the passenger’s seat. 

Jane tugged her arm away. “Alright, alright!”

Maura raised her eyebrows expectantly, her wrist flung over the open car door. Jane’s nostrils flared under Maura’s gaze, “What?”

“What nothing, get in the car.”

Jane huffs, raises her palms, tilts her chin up, and rocks dramatically into the passenger’s seat. 

Maura smiles patiently at her, making no effort to close the door. 

“Whaaat?!” the detective wines.

“Put on your seatbelt.”

“Oh my god, Maura-“

“Seatbelt. On.”

The detective narrows her eyes, ready to stare the other woman down. They stay like that for a moment.

Maura reaches for the seatbelt latch and Jane’s hand flys to cover it. Jane keeps her jaw set under Maura’s deep gaze. 

After a few moments she scowls and attached the latch to buckle. “Happy?”

“Yes, thank you.” Maura’s eyes sparkle as she steps back to close the door and moves around to the driver’s side.

“I’ve got my eyes on you.”

“I’ve got my eyes on you.” Jane parrots softly. The car creeps through the dark Boston streets and Jane squirms uncomfortably at the heavy warmth she feels in her chest.

***  
The ceremony had gone rather smoothly. Jane’s speech had seemingly taken the edge off of her uneasy restlessness, Maura observed thankfully, taking a sip of her wine.

Byron was meeting her this evening with plans to come over and stay the night. The doctor was rather averse to postponing the engagement. 

Maura eyed her friend talking to Frankie and Angela. Angela started crying incomprehensibly, miming for a pen. She handed one off to Jane before a napkin was shoved into her hand, the shoddy scrawl straining her eyes.

“Divorce,” she read.

“What?”

“Congratulations, Detective! Can we get an interview with you? How it feels to be a hero?”

Maura’s eyes burned under the film crew’s harsh lights. Jane sent them away. She pulled the napkin from Maura’s hand. “We are getting a divorce.”

“That’s terrible.” 

Angela’s lipstick had rubbed off into Jane’s tie. She licked her fingers, “This should come out.”

“I’ll catch up with you in a sec, Maur.” Jane’s eyes scanned the room.

“Oh,” she was slightly taken aback. “Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.”

Jane jogged over to Casey and Abby. 

Maura’s phone buzzed. Byron. 

***

At first, Maura didn’t know what was happening. 

One of the brigade cars had exploded. Her heart dropped. Rushing out in the sea of people she saw Casey dragging Jane out of the second car in the succession. Without thinking, she flanked Jane’s opposite side, dragging Jane across the street and pulling the woman tightly against her chest. 

Jane had gone ridged, muttering about Abby and pulling away from Maura’s grasp. 

Cavanaugh stepped in as he rounded the scene, looking almost angered when he saw Jane fighting to stand. “Rizzoli, you’re not cleared for active duty,” he barked. “Frankie, get her outta her! Take her home.”

Frankie was at her side in an instant, arms around his sister, “I’ve got her, I’ve got her.” 

Every instinct told her to not leave Jane’s side, but Jane wasn’t hurt. She watched the chaos unfold; there were photographers and valets near the explosion, all with varying levels of burns that needed to be treated. They couldn’t all be transported via ambulance, from what she could see most didn’t need to be anyhow. She needed to be here.

***  
The evening had resulted in a single fatality- Private Abby Sherman. Maura felt a pang in her chest for the young woman, her death was senseless and tragic. She shook her head and pushed the thought from her mind as she examined the arm of a young man who had been injured in the explosion.

She held her right palm up to support the boy’s arm as she examined the burns he had sustained. His dark eyes were blown wide as he watched the first responders begin the process of extracting Abby’s body from the wreckage.

She tried to catch his eyes with her own, “Try not to look.” Based on the time it had taken for the fire to be put out and what she could see, she could safely conclude that the majority of the soldier’s body was covered with burns. Maura did her best to keep her voice even, “She was pretty badly burned.”

The boy’s head snapped towards her, she could see that his breathing was shallow and frantic. 

“What’s your name?”

“Jet,” his eyelids fluttered for a moment, “Joaquin, but nobody calls me that. It’s just Jet.”

“Jet? Does that mean you’re fast?” The sleeve of his white shirt was frayed, thankfully it hadn’t stuck to the wound. 

“Not really,” he said half heartedly. Maura couldn’t blame him, she wanted nothing more than this leave this day behind her.

“Jet, in order to treat this burn, I’m going to need this shirt off. Can you do that for me, or would you like me to cut it?”

“Just cut it, it’s not like I’m going to be wearing it again.”

She chuckled, “Let’s hope not.”

***  
The pounding in her head did nothing to quell the unease she felt driving to Jane’s apartment so late and unannounced on a night like tonight. The only thing that felt worse was not checking in on her friend after the fiasco. 

Her car slid into a spot below Jane’s apartment, where the light in the window was still on. Maura closed her eyes and held her breath. 

Jane hadn’t answered her cell phone, and now it appeared she wasn’t answering her door either. 

She knocked again, “Jane! Jane, you know I can’t leave until I know you’re alright..”. 

Nothing.

“Alright, Jane, I’m coming in-“ The doctor opened the door, her heels distinct on the cracking wood.

She closed the door behind her just in time to see a mop of black hair jolt up, “-No!” 

Maura felt her pulse quicken at the sight before her. Jane pressed herself against the back of her chair under Maura’s gaze. Her nose had curled slightly in contempt and her pupils were dilated. Maura observed the nervous energy in Jane’s clenched hands and her rapid diaphragmatic breathing, alerting Maura to the pregnant tension in the air between them.

She took a deep breath. 

Fight or flight. 

“Jane, you’re currently experiencing a rush of adrenaline activated by your sympathetic nervous system. Your body is getting ready to defend itself.”

The detective looked rather annoyed with Maura; her breathing sped as it moved higher into her chest, a few tears spilling down her cheeks. 

Maura kicked off her heels and slowly knelt down, groping for the floor and keeping her eyes fixed on Jane. When she felt the solid wood door against her back, she pushed into it and slid down onto the floor, tucking her legs beneath her. 

Maura tried to meet Jane’s eyes. “Try to relax. Deep breaths.” She filled her lungs with air, careful to demonstrate the rise and fall of her abdomen as she took controlled, incremental breaths, willing her friend to match her.

But Jane was barely looking at her. The scars on Jane’s hands peeked out from beneath the unruly curls curtaining her face. Maura cringed as she watched those hands tighten and writhe, nails sinking deeper into skin and fingers become further entangled in those dark tresses.

Maura sat up, bracing herself for Jane’s reaction, but took a deep breath and kept her voice steady and firm, “Jane, look at me.”

A strangled cry made its way through the detective’s clenched jaw. She turned away from Maura as more sobs silently wracked her body.

“Jane, it’s okay. You’re okay.” She took on a gentler tone as the detective crashed in front of her. “You can’t protect everyone.” She was glad Jane was facing away from her for that particular truth; her heart broke as she heard her friend’s breath hitch wildly at the statement, her crying becoming louder and more desperate.

Maura backtracked, “I spoke with Frankie; your mom’s alright- she’s worried about you. She wanted to stop by. According to Frankie, she will be here first thing tomorrow with breakfast.”

Jane groaned, but her breathing began to slow. Maura stood cautiously as she continued, “Frost and Korsack started logging the evidence, and tomorrow afternoon I will be performing an autopsy.”

Jane’s voice was raspy and distant when she looked up at Maura, “Why?” 

She cautiously moved towards the detective, answering the question the only way she knew how to, “I still need to file a report, confirming cause of death. It’s possible that the blast wave transmitted traceable particles to the surrounding environment that can help determine the chemical composition of the explosive. I need to catalogue the nature and magnitude of the injuries sustained-”

She stopped herself, her heart melting at the sad brown eyes looking up at her. She shook her head, “I don’t know, sweetie.” 

Jane shuttered as the doctor’s fingers traced over her shoulder, across her spine and to the opposite shoulder. 

With her arm around the detective, Maura thought to pull Jane off the couch and towards the bedroom, but Jane melted into Maura’s embrace, turning into her friend’s chest- closing any distance between them.

Warm breath tickled Maura’s ear and she wrapped her free arm protectively around the other woman. A soft whine escaped Jane’s lips at the gesture. 

“Hey, shh shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay, baby,” she soothed. The endearment fell softly and naturally from her lips; she felt her chest swell with warmth and adoration as Jane nuzzled her face into Maura’s neck. “I’ve got you, baby.”


	2. Chapter 2

Maura continued to murmur softly into Jane’s ear, her fingers running over the protruding vertebrae on her friend’s back. Jane’s shoulders remained ridged, as if she was bracing herself for impact.

She massaged over the taut muscles in Jane’s back, using her thumbs to press into the pressure points next to the scapula. 

She rocked to the side a few times, “Try to relax.” She needed Jane calm enough to be able to listen to her. 

Maura rubbed her back for a few more minutes before she opened her mouth, “Come on,” she pulled the other woman up with her, “you need sleep.”

A pained moan was all the response she was granted as she pulled the other woman towards the bedroom. “You’ll feel better once you’ve changed and had some rest.” 

Ideally, if Jane wasn’t so reactive and tired she’d suggest she take a quick shower before going to sleep, but as she deposited her friend on the bed, Jane made quick work of burrowing herself into the sheets. 

The doctor quickly moved to unfasten Jane’s collar, “At least put on some clean clothes.”

“..no”

“Jane,” she warned, “you smell awful. It’s going to linger.”

“I don’t care..”

Maura’s voice took on a stern quality as she continued speaking, “I’m not negotiating with you.” 

“I don’t care!”

Maura’s eyes widened, she blinked, before turning and walking out of the room. 

“..Maur?”

Maura moved around the apartment, heavy steps making Jane cringe with each pace. Jane turned her head to avoid Maura’s gaze when she strode back into the bedroom and pulled a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants from her dresser. 

Maura held up the clothes, “We can do this the easy way,” she tilted her head down towards Jane, “or the hard way.”

It took quite a bit of effort on Maura’s part not to waver as Jane eyed her over, looking stunned at her demand. Maura watched the steady rise and fall of Jane’s chest as they stood in silence. 

Finally, Jane’s shoulders sagged in resignation, but her face was washed in relief. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and nodded, signaling Maura to approach.

Maura was efficient, depositing the spare clothes on the dresser and helping Jane to quickly undo the many buttons of her uniform- there was no way it could have been comfortable to sleep in, Maura thought. She slid the shirt off Jane’s shoulders and onto a hanger, quickly exchanging it for the makeshift pajamas. 

As the detective lethargically pulled off her undershirt and bra, Maura moved to unfasten Jane’s belt. Cool fingers brushed against the exposed skin of her hip and Jane gasped and jerked away as if she’d been burned. 

“I’m just undoing your belt.”

Jane shrank back, her eyes wide. “No,” she said softly. She shook her head, “Nonononononono.” 

Before Maura could think to reply, the detective shot up from the bed, grabbed the clothes on the dresser, and bolted into the master bathroom, the lock clicking behind her. 

The apartment was silent.

Maura sighed, feeling the adrenaline from the night’s events seeping out of her, and her delayed fatigue dragging her shoulders towards the ground. She didn’t try to suppress a yawn. Quickly gathering Jane’s uniform onto a hanger, she made her way to the kitchen, rummaging for an empty spray bottle and vinegar. 

She sprayed the uniform, and, after a thought, the chair she found Jane in when she arrived. Maura’s back began to ache; she fought to keep her eyelids from drooping. 

She sighed, the resonance of her footsteps amplified by the heavy silence in the apartment as she made her way back to the master bedroom. 

When she knocked on the bathroom door it immediately swung open. Jane stood proudly against the wooden frame, dressed in the clothes Maura had gathered. Her hair was pulled down and swept over her left shoulder. She looked refreshed, having run some water over her face. However, the rigidity in her trapezius muscles revealed the tension plaguing her friend’s body, like a spring ready to pop.

“I’m fine, Maura. Go home.”

Maura eyed her skeptically, but the nagging of her own fatigue interrupted her thoughts. Jane needed rest, they both did. 

She reached out and took Jane’s right hand and in her own. When Jane didn’t pull back, she smiled encouragingly at her, giving her hand a gentle tug.

Jane followed Maura towards the bed, who drew back the covers and motioned for Jane to lay down. “Come on. You need rest.”

Jane melted into the mattress before her pride could overpower her fatigue. Maura pulled the duvet to Jane’s chest before reaching for the switch to turn off her table lamp. “Are you going to be alright?”

A nod.

“Close your eyes.” She kept a palm on Jane’s bicep and ran a thumb across her shoulder, just enough to say _I’m here._

In less than a minute, Jane was asleep. Maura sighed. She fought the impulse to abandon this situation-pretend it never happened- never bring it up.

In truth, nothing could be further from her instincts. When she looked at the detective, her body swelled with love. It seeped from her chest, along her arms and from the tips of her fingers. 

Jane was wild, she was fearless, and destructive. Jane doesn’t know how to quit, or how to rest. She is absolutely reckless, and Maura wanted nothing more than to be the place where Jane felt safe. She wanted to take the girl out of survival mode, wrap Jane up in her arms, and let her rest. Let her exist in a place where the world didn’t press so heavily on her shoulders.

She let her fingers trace the wispy curl that always found its way in front of Jane’s eyes, before gently tucking behind Jane’s ear.

Maura stepped back, taking in Jane’s sleeping form before quietly slipping out of the room and making her way down the hall. 

Her feet screamed as she pulled her heels on. Maura quickly grabbed her purse from the coffee table and made her way for the door. A piece of her wanted to stay and watch over her friend, but she had work to do and needed rest. She knew Jane would be averse to have both her and Angela fussing over her anyhow.

Maura started out of the apartment and to her car. She pulled out her phone and saw a message from Byron flicker on the screen.

- **Sorry, our night got cut short. Let me buy you brunch tomorrow. 11:00?**

She smiled.

- **Can’t wait**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any sort of request please leave a comment and let me know! I’ll do my best :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short update to keep my momentum moving forward

Jane strode through the precinct lobby with a stride in her step that rivaled her days at the academy. Her curls flourishing behind her like a cape in the wind thanks to that fancy shampoo Maura had gifted her last Christmas.

She’d never gotten a chance to use it until this morning, she wasn’t cleared for active duty yet; but she’d woken up with a renewed vigor. She was going to get to the bottom of what had happened to Abby. Kavanaugh be damned. Byron be damned. Anyone else who said otherwise be damned.

After more or less inhaling a Rizzoli-family-style breakfast- courtesy of her mom- and clearing her brother out of her apartment, Jane had put on a proper outfit for the first time in several weeks- the previous night excluded. Maura had put her uniform on for her anyhow. 

Jane wrinkled her nose. She didn’t know why she had allowed Maura to dress her. She was a fully functional adult- a detective at that- perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Capable of  _ dressing herself. _

Yet, when she thought back to Maura hovering above her with those gentle eyes and warm touch, Jane couldn’t bring herself to care.

And it was infuriating, and more than a little bit scary. She shook her head, making her move towards the elevator for the third floor. 

“Wow! Detective Rizzoli!”

She was met with a nervous looking uniform shifting his weight back and forth in front of a newly erected security gate. Jane grimaced. 

She shoved her hand out towards the man, forcing a half-smile, “You’re new.” 

“Yeah! I’m- um...uh-“

“Officer Renolds,” his badge read.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “it’s a pleasure to meet you. Really.”

She smiled kindly, nodded her head and moved for the elevator button. 

“I can’t let you in without a badge.” his voice dropped, “Sorry.” 

She didn’t roll her eyes- which should definitely count for something. “Oh come on. Look, I got-“ she yanks her t-shirt up to reveal the bullet wound. “There’s my badge. We got a tough case to solve.” 

She started to plow forward.

“Uh, no. I can’t. Security’s been really tight since…”

Jane’s gut sank, “Since me..”

“What are you doing here?” 

The detective turned to see Maura striding towards her looking pensive and disapproving as ever.

“I’m trying to figure out who killed Abby Sherman,” she snapped.

Byron was looking down his nose at her, “‘We’ haven’t cleared you yet.”

She was going to scream.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Jane?”

“I’m sure I’m done  _ sitting _ on my  _ ass.”  _

Jane grabbed a paper and pen from the security desk “Here.” She all but shoved them in Byron’s direction. “Clear me for active duty.”

“Call Darlene in my office.” He was speaking to her like she was inept; or as is she was a young child. “Make an appointment.” 

He nodded at her before leaning over to kiss Maura’s cheek. Jane held back a sneer at the way she met him like some unremarkable devotee.

“Oh yeah, he’s so  _ tender,  _ I don’t know how I never noticed,” she scowled. “ _ Get me in there.”  _

“Jane.” Maura stepped forward, “Go home; get better.” 

Maura spoke so clearly; concisely and directly- as if any slight linguistic complication would render her instruction incomprehensible. 

“Maura,” Jane warned, “you heard me- this is who I am; this is what I do.  _ Now, get me in there.” _

Maura looked momentarily stunned at the admittedly petulant demand, but Jane held her ground. 

They stared at each other. Maura’s eyes narrowed, scrutinizing the adamantine determination on the detective‘s face. She rolled her eyes, “ _ Fine.” _

“But only because I’m afraid you’re going to hurt yourself;” Maura chided, turning towards the security desk and holding up her badge. “It’s okay, Sam. Detective Rizzoli is with me.” 

Jane followed Maura towards the elevator.  _ Sam _ had the gall to hand her a visitor’s pass. 

“Really?” She haphazardly stuck the sticker on her jacket pocket. 

Maura was herding her forward, “Downstairs only.” Again with the direct commands. “I will poke you in your scar tissue if you even touch the up arrow.”

In an act of resistance Jane hovered her fingers over both the elevator buttons as if to say _ stop telling me what to do _ . She pressed the down button. 

They filed into the elevator. Jane could not hold off any longer, she pulled the sticker off her blazer and offered it to Maura. Maura, who sighed, shook her head, and took the pass from her; then placed the sticker properly on Jane’s blazer, her hand smoothing over Jane’s heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, feel free to [please-lol] leave a request


	4. Chapter 4

As Maura finished attaching the visitor’s pass to Jane’s blazer she felt a warm brush against her left hand that held her leather handbag. Quickly, she transferred the bag and took a firm hold of the hand hovering next to hers. She heard a soft keen as Jane pressed her nose into Maura’s neck, her forehead hovering against her ear. 

“Maur-”

The elevator bell rang and the doors flew open. 

“Dr. Isles, the results from the mass spec concluded that- _oh—”_

Susie stood slack jawed at the foot of the elevator. Jane all but flew against the back wall, wincing at the sharp exhale of breath that escaped from her lungs on impact. She cleared her throat roughly and pushed her shoulders back, like a wild cat making itself larger when it felt threatened.

Maura stepped forward, the wedge of her heel tripping the elevator sensor, keeping the door from closing. She watched the puzzled look on Susie’s face as she studied the startled detective, obviously analyzing the scene before her. Maura cleared her throat. “Put the results on my desk please.” 

Maura trailed the criminalist’s eyeline, “Is that going to be a problem?”

“What?” Susie’s eyes snapped to meet Maura’s. “No.”

“I’ll need you in the lab; notify me when the morgue technician arrives.”

“Yes, Dr. Isles.” 

Susie lingered, mouth ajar, “I-“

“Is there anything else?” Maura directed her attention solely on the woman before her.

“No, I-“

With a raised brow and a lowered gaze Maura watched Susie turn slowly, and began moving towards the lab before turning back and handing Maura a file of documents. 

The criminalist skittered away under Maura’s unrelenting gaze. The elevator chugged, attempting to close its doors. 

Maura turned, “Come on.” She offered Jane her hand, but the detective had pulled her arms tightly across her body and shrugged a shoulder forward, following Maura into her office. 

Once the office door was shut, Jane leaned awkwardly against the frame, not knowing quite what to do with herself once she was alone with the doctor.

She scratched her nose. “Look, Maura, about last night-“

“Wait.” Maura brought a hand up in pause before moving to close the blinds in her office. The lock on the door clicked. 

“Come sit down.”

“No, I uh..” Jane’s hand made its way around the back of her neck. “I need to know what happened to Abby.”

Maura’s eyes narrowed. “Jane-“ Maura stopped herself as she took in the look on the detective’s face. Maura wasn’t the best at reading social cues but she had learned to recognize the subtleties of expression in her friend. It was a rare occurrence she was afforded the opportunity but Maura read Jane’s wide eyes and flared nostrils like a book- the detective was the picture of anxious anticipation and dread. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Maura.”

“Like what?”

“Like _that!”_

Maura moved to sit on the edge of her desk across from Jane, crossing her ankles elegantly as she pressed her weight onto the heels of her hands. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh my _god, Maura.”_ Jane brought her fingertips to press against her temples and groaned. _“Stop looking at me like you’re trying to read my thoughts!“_

__

The doctor suppressed a coy smile. “If you told me what you were thinking perhaps I would be looking at you differently.”

__

Jane’s lip curled as she squared off her shoulders, “I’m thinking I’ve got a twenty-two year old solider who was killed in front of me while I did nothing. I’m thinking we’ve got a possible terrorist on the loose. And I’m thinking that _boyfriend_ of yours has a superiority complex the size of the titanic, Maura. I’m thinking I don’t have time for this!” Her voice began to fry, but Jane would deny that the last phrase escaped her mouth as a whine.

__

“That must be frustrating.”

__

Jane bit her hand in a fruitless effort to suppress a groan. 

__

“You wanted to talk about last night?”

__

“Yes. I mean- no. I mean- God, Maura!” Jane shook her head, clearing the thoughts away, “Can we just pretend nothing happened?”

__

Maura tilted her head to the side, sweeping aside a stray lock of hair. Her warm hazel eyes meeting Jane’s. “If that’s what you want. We can pretend that nothing happened.” 

__

She pursed her lips, “Jane, I’m worried about you.”

__

The detective scoffed, bouncing her weight between her feet, “Why,” she said skeptically. 

__

“You’re still having pain.”

__

“I got shot.”

__

“I want you to move into my guest house.”

__

“What? No. Why?” Her eyes fluttered, “What?”

__

“That walk-up can’t be easy for you right now.”

__

Jane’s nose twitched, “Not everything’s easy; it’s not like I’m not used to it.”

__

“You shouldn’t have to struggle alone.” Maura stood from from her desk and moved towards Jane, the clicking of her heels articulating each step forward. “Besides, your mom is needing a place to stay and based on what you’ve told me I doubt you’d be keen on sharing your space with your mother.” Maura stopped in front of the detective.

__

Folding her arms, Jane scowled. “That woman doesn’t know how to knock.”

__

Maura hummed. 

__

“I dunno, Maur, the whole thing seems a bit weird to me.”

__

“Which part?”

__

“I dunno the part where I give my mom free reign of my apartment? Or the part where you want to boss me around and play house?” 

__

Maura narrowed her eyes- she knew Jane had understood her the previous evening and was avoiding the topic. She also knew that Jane felt comfortable with confrontation and -perhap even subconsciously- fell back towards familiar territory. The dichotomy of Jane’s need for connection and the maintenance of her impenetrable persona created a tension so palpable that it vibrated off her in waves, but Maura was ready to take the plunge.

__

“Jane, you need someone to look after you.”

__

The detective’s brow furrowed and she met Maura’s gaze with an intensity that almost made time stop for a brief instant.

__

Maura reached out, her hand ghosting over the skin on the other woman’s hand. Maura blinked, “It’s alright, Jane.”

__

She watched as Jane’s eyes tracked her fingers as they stroked the back of Jane’s hand. 

__

“Maur?”

__

The doctor felt her breath become shallow. “Yes?”

__

“I..,” She looked away. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

__

Maura tilted her head down, looking pointedly at the woman in front of her before brushing a curl from Jane’s face. “Why don’t we start small?”

__

“How?” 

__

“When was the last time you ate?”

__

“I had a coffee this morning.”

__

_“Jane.”_

__

The detective’s voice became a low whisper, “Last night. At the party…”

__

Maura moved to her desk, pulling out a small package. She handed it to Jane. “Here. Eat this. It’s hardly nutritious, but you could use the fuel.”

__

Jane took the package warily. “What is it?”

__

“Coffee bread. You’ll like it.” Maura looked at her watch. “I’m expecting the morgue tech. You can come meet me when you’re finished.” She squeezed Jane’s shoulder then hurried into the lab.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Next update won’t take so long! As always requests open :)


	5. Chapter 5

Jane’s eyes watered at the foul stench of the lab. The inescapable smell of death assaulted her lungs like she’d hit a wall when she’d followed her friend into the lab. Jane felt her heart rate speed up. She pulled at a clump of her hair, focusing on the pain that it caused. Her stomach turned. 

She paced slightly, lingering near the double doors, trying not to catch Maura’s attention. 

It struck her how stupid it was for a homicide detective to panic at the smell of death, but the sick oder of the lab was making her want to crawl out of her own skin. 

She took a deep breath, causing her eyes to spill over with tears. She couldn’t breathe. 

Jane angrily wiped her eyes- she was done crying, she was done feeling sorry for herself. It was time to get back to work. Abby deserved at least that.

Watching Maura fill out some paperwork across the room somehow made her feel calm. She focused on the steady sound of the pen scratching paper and the doctor’s concentrated gaze.

“That’s a sign of sexual frustration.”

Maura’s voice pulled her out of her trance-like focus on the other woman. Jane tugged at the piece of hair she had been nervously twisting in her hand, “Or tangled hair,” she retorted. She kept bouncing between her feet. “I can’t stop seeing Abby’s face…”

Maura was eyeing her warily, and Jane thoughts continued to spill, “It looks different in here!”

Maura smiled proudly, “That is correct, Rip Van Winkle. The decorator just finished. I love what she did with my office.”

“Oh my god I’m so excited I think I’m gonna vomit!” She teased. Jane wondered how Maura had found a decorator that knew how to design a medical lab.

Maura narrowed her eyes, “You know it’s possible it’s taking you longer to heal because of your attitude.”

“A forty caliber bullet went through me, Maura, my attitude is not faking that.”

Jane’s stomach dropped as Maura began moving towards her. She fought the urge to move back. “Jane, you’re not faking anything. You had a life threatening injury. But you’re strong. Healthy. Something’s gotten in the way of your healing.” She pressed on Jane’s abdomen.

“Ow! Would you please stop doing that!”

“I just wish I knew what was causing that pain.” The intensity in Maura’s eye made Jane’s skin raise.

“Again, I’m going with the forty caliber bullet.” She spat.

The doctor smiled sadly. They both jumped back at the metallic clang of the door announcing the morgue tech’s arrival. He was pushing a stretcher, atop sat a black body bag. Jane’s stomach jumped into her throat. 

Maura was eying her with concern. “Are you sure you want to be here? She was very badly burned.”

“Um-hm.”

Maura turned and took the clipboard from the technician, signing off on the private’s body and the bag of Abby’s belongings.

“Those her dog tags?” Jane asks. Maura holds them up. “She survives two tours in Afghanistan and gets blown up at home..” 

“Thank you.” Maura says to the tech before moving to the zipper of the black bag. Jane refuses to continue pulling on her hair at Maura’s worried gaze.

The doctor scarcely touches the zipper before Jane is moving back, eyes blown wide, “No! I can’t. I can’t.” The detective retreats into Maura’s office, leaving Maura alone in the morgue.

*****

The detective leaned over Maura’s desk clutching her aching side. The distinct click of Maura’s heels followed closely behind her. “What the hell is wrong with me?! I’ve been through worse than this! Abby deserves better..”

Maura rubbed her back sympathetically. “Jane, take a deep breath.”

For once, Jane entertained the instruction, desperate for the pain to dissipate. A sharp stabbing radiated through her lungs, and she winced. “No, I can’t! It hurts..” She continued to spiral, moving away from her friend’s comforting warmth. “What if I’m never who I was?”

“That’s the human condition.”

She moved to sit in the new chair Maura’s decorator had inflicted upon the office. It felt like the chair was trying to fold her like a sandwich. “Ow! This hurts too! How uncomfortable is this?”

“How can you say that? That’s a Karim Rashid label.”

Jane narrowed her eyes. “Sometimes things that are expensive are worse.”

“You’re just grumpy. That chair is good for spinal alignment.”

“Oh. Well, in that case, it’s like the warm caress of a mother’s hand.”

Maura smiled knowingly. “Your parasympathetic nervous system is in overdrive. It’s a protective mechanism.”

“What? Because I don’t like your office? Did taxpayers pay for this?” She knocks the hard plastic of the chair. It reminded her of the material used to make playground slides.

“Of course not.” Maura’s voice takes on that overexcited professor quality, as she moves around her desk towards Jane. “You know, you might still be in physical pain because of a post-traumatic psychopathological reaction to what’s happened to you.” 

“Well, make it stop!” She sighed. “What do you do when fear is killing you?”

The doctor’s brow furrowed. “Well, it’s very hard to die from fear unless you have a congenital heart condition…” Maura’s eyes traced over the defeated look on her friend’s face. “What can I do?”

“Get me upstairs.”

“Jane-“

“Please, Maura. I feel sick! I have to do something to help Abby.” 

“Cavanaugh is not going to let you work this case.”

“You let me deal with him.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

Looking into Maura’s eyes the detective was stunned into sincerity by the compassion in the other woman’s gaze. “No.” She answered honestly, “but I don’t have a choice.” 

“Will you stay over tonight? Let me make you dinner?”

“I can’t; my mom’s coming over to make breakfast. Lucky me.”

“Then we’ll go to your place. I’ll bring you some groceries around 7?”

“Yeah, okay.” She nodded, “Maur?”

“Hmm?”

“Upstairs?”

She smiled, extending her hand to Jane, “Come on.”

This time, Jane took it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh you guys, I’m surprised there aren’t more agere fics in this fandom- especially with little Jane. If any character was ever a little it’s Jane Rizzoli. What do you guys think?


	6. Chapter 6

“Can I help you find anything?”

Maura was taken aback by the sheer enthusiasm that radiated off the sales clerk in front of her. She smiled politely, “Thank you, I’m just looking for now.”

“Let me know if you need anything!”

Maura nodded at the girl and turned down a random aisle of the store. The shelves were lined with plastic dolls in various states of plastic luxury: some came with cars while others came with large dollhouses adorned with tiny furniture and decor. She continues down the aisle which led her to a display of larger dolls with names and a pamphlet of their history. Her mother had bought her dolls when she was very young, but the only doll she ever took interest in was the anatomy doll that she’d begged her parents for in the fourth grade. 

Maura turned down the next aisle which was full of colorful sensory toys designed for children who were beginning to understand their relationship to the world around them. She contemplated a cube with various levers and pulleys adorned with a crinkling cloth material and textured rubber handles. 

Moving towards a display of educational toys and thought back to her own favorite childhood toys; her most beloved companion had been the microscope her parents had gifted her on her sixth birthday. Maura had never been one for frivolous or unsubstantial toys, everything she had owned fed into her analytical or academic pursuits. She frowned over the selection, none of the items seemed to have any academic merit; the pièce de résistance being a tub of green slime. She turned away, content that her silk blouse would live to see another day. 

After sifting through a shelf of unremarkable picture books, Maura began to feel disheartened in her quest. It wasn’t until she was rounding the back of the store that she found exactly what she had been looking for.

***

The door to Jane’s apartment swung open to reveal Maura Isles alone in the hallway carrying several large grocery bags and sporting a grin that made Jane wary of the words that would come out of the medical examiner’s mouth.

Jane took a sip of her beer. “You’re early.”

Maura’s brow creased. “I am never early.”

“Heaven forbid.” Jane stepped aside to let the other woman in. She eyed the clock. It was just past seven. Jane scrubbed a hand over her face. “I didn’t think you were serious when you said you were coming over.”

Maura placed the bags she was carrying on the kitchen bar. “Jane,” she looked pointedly at the other woman, “when have you ever known me to not be serious?”

Jane chuffed, looking away coyly. 

“You may be losing a bit of your edge there, detective.”

“Yeah, don’t I know it.” The humor was lost.

Maura began pulling out groceries from the bags and placing them in the barren cabinets.

“What’s all this?” Jane gestured vaguely to the counter.

“Produce.” Her nose scrunched in momentary amusement. “Maybe you’ve heard of it?”

“Just the stories and rumors people tell.” Jane picked up a package from the counter. “What are you making anyway?”

“Croque Monsieur.” 

“Blèh-blêh blëh-blèh,” she imitated the doctor’s French. 

“Very funny.” Maura felt Jane startle as she placed a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “Croque Monsieur. The name comes from the verb croquer, meaning to crunch. Its origins can be traced back to early twentieth century Paris when it was popularized as a light snack to be enjoyed in bars and cafes.”

Jane stared at her blankly. Maura elaborated, “It’s basically a fancy grilled cheese.”

“Say no more.” 

Maura began taking out the ingredients for the dish and mixing it in a bowl. She set some milk to boil on the stove all the while under the watchful eye of the detective. “Jane, I want you to consider coming to stay in my guest house for a while. At least until your mom figures out her next step and you’ve had proper time to heal. I’m worried that you’re impending your recovery by neglecting your health.”

“You want me at your house for that long?”

“Of course, I do.”

“What about Jo Friday?”

“Jo Friday can come if that’s what you want. Bass could do with a companion.”

Jane bit her thumbnail, “Oh God, Maura, your turtle?”

“Tortoise.”

“Whatever,” the detective whined, bouncing with frustration. “Reptile-thing…” She folded her arms.

Maura suppressed a smile, adding butter and flour to her mixture. “Come help me.” She took a step to the side allowing Jane to stand directly in front of the pan. Jane looked completely out of place in front of the stove, and she looked expectantly at Maura, waiting for instructions. 

“Mix the ingredients with the spoon, please.”

Jane did as she was told, eyeing Maura suspiciously and using the wooden spoon to stir the contents of the pan.

“Good girl.” Maura hummed, switching the stove off and adding salt and pepper to the mixture. She poured the cheese into the bowl. “Voila. Now we just have to put them in the oven.”

“Since when do you bake grilled cheese?”

“Don’t complain,” the doctor instructed. “And go sit on the couch, please.”

“Why?” 

“Now, please.”

Jane scrunched up her nose and huffed indignantly, but made her way to the couch where Jo Friday was curled up on a pillow. “Hey, Jo,” she smiled, letting the dog lick her hand.

Maura set the sandwiches in the oven before pulling a pale lavender gift bag from one of the grocery bags. She moved to sit across from Jane. “I have something for you.” 

“You do? What is it?”

Maura placed the bag on Jane’s lap. “Why don’t you open it and see?”

Jane stared hesitantly at the large bag. Purple tissue paper covered the contents, daring her to tear away at it and reveal the hidden gift.

Her breath caught in her throat and she felt her heart begin to speed up. She looked to Maura who nodded kindly and spoke, “It’s okay, Jane. Open it.”

She tore away at the tissue paper and pulled the gift from the bag. Her heart fluttered as she let go of the breath she had been holding and held the gift up at arm’s length. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat.

In her hand was a stuffed brown bunny with big floppy ears, a bright pink nose, and two black pebble eyes. As she ran a hand over its soft fur she felt the tension in her shoulders melt. Jane lifted its left ear where her name was embroidered in cursive. She looked up at Maura who was smiling warmly at her and brought the bunny to her chest and tightly wrapped her arms around it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I’m not super pleased with this chapter but I wanted to post an update. The English translation of the sandwich Maura is making is ‘Mister Crunch’ lol.
> 
> Next few chapters will really start to explore Jane’s little side, but I’m having trouble figuring out her little age range. I can see her as a toddler maybe 2-4, but also as a kiddo around 7... What do you guys think?
> 
> Also I can’t decide what Jane should call Maura when regressed. I’m oscillating between ‘Maur’ and ‘Mama’. Any thoughts?
> 
> If anyone’s interested I based the stuffed animal Maura gave Jane off the brown jellycat ‘bashful bunny’. It’s so cute!


End file.
